Like I told you in the previous post, I’m very anxious. At this moment it is mostly because I’m going back to work. Another 2 days at home, and then I need to go back to work after being a month at home because of my recovery from the flu. It’s never been proved that I have suffered from it, but one thing is certain, I’ve been sick and didn’t stop working at that time. I still need to call my doctor to get the results from the blood tests I did, but normally it will have better results than from the one I did more than 3 weeks ago. I took my vitamins correctly, so that should be no problem.
All this means I need to get to work again Wednesday, and that’s making me anxious. My self-esteem is even lower/ non-existing sometimes than it is normally. I will need to ‘ignore’ the fear about working the first few days. Probably I will notice that it’s all alright and sooner as I will notice I will be back in the flow and I will overdo again. This overdoing is something that’s always been the case, as I look back in my past. It has been seen, also by myself, as normal, but actually it is overdoing myself in all facets: physically, mentally, emotionally, socially,…
That’s my fear, in the past I never noticed that I was overdoing and so there were moments that I need to stop with that I was doing because I couldn’t go on. I thought my inner alarm for this would work after all this years trial and error, but I’ve seen now that yes, it’s working, but still pretty late… I will grow in this, I know, but on the while: do I need to accept that I will need these long recovery periods because of my overdoing until the time my inner alarm will go off on time instead of too late?
To end this post, I want to say sorry about my mistakes in my English, I’ve learnt it at university, but that’s already long ago and without practise… Yes, you forget some details 🙂
Have a good day and see you next time!