The ‘cat situation’

12 July

I’m feeling scared and useless. The cat just attacked me from behind. He grabed my left calf and hold it, even when I shouted ‘No’ and ‘Ouch’ towards him. It is an example of domination which I can’t cope with. At such moment I’m not scared, I think, I panic instead. Immediately I feel worthless. I’m exhausted. Worrying, am I worrying? Well, I’m not thinking, I’m recovering. I read a lot on Facebook and you all know they’re loads of quotes passing by every day. Yesterday I read one that didn’t pass before. “Having a panic attack can be compared with running a marathon, of course you’re exhausted.” However I continued scrolling down when I read this on Facebook, I often thought about it today. That’s probably why I consciously felt how exhausted I was after my panic attack in the ‘cat situation’. I never called it a panic attack, when I feel anxiety. I can’t tell the difference between having anxiety and having a panic attack. The boundary between these two situations isn’t clear for me. Maybe that’s why I tell others I have anxiety, but is it not completely true. Maybe, unconsciously, I’m not completely honest with myself. Shall reading the qoute be the moment in my life that I realize, believe and accept that I’ m still suffering from panic attacks?